


I Will Always Need You

by Not_So_Mundane_After_All_97



Category: Titans (TV 2018)
Genre: Aftermath, Dick learns what it means to be a parent in a way, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Father Figures, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Post-Episode: s01e11 Dick Grayson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 06:20:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17823506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_So_Mundane_After_All_97/pseuds/Not_So_Mundane_After_All_97
Summary: Dick almost lost Rachel one time too many. All of that because his own mistakes. The events of the past 24 hours made him realize he never wants to lose this kid again.





	I Will Always Need You

**Author's Note:**

> I recently finished Titans and honestly, Dick and Rachel are one of the best things that happened to me. It's clear their relationship and their story is the main focus of this show. It's so amazingly written, very well executed and developed. Something like this is very rare on TV these days. Whenever I find a beautiful father-daughter or brother-sister dynamic in a show, it's almost always sacraficed for the sake of romantic relationships. This little thing was taking shape in my head for the last few days and I just needed to write it. It's probably the sappiest thing I've ever written but I don't give a fuck. These beautiful babies deserve the world, honestly. It kills me we have to wait so long for season 2 and I hope it will feed me even better than season 1 did. Anyway, enjoy and let me know what you think :D

Dick woke up with the feeling of smoke filling his lungs and with dirt in his mouth. The headache was killing him, the world around spinning. He didn't remember how he ended up on the ground. He was supposed to get Rachel and Gar out of the house... Rachel. He had to get to Rachel. Where is she? What is happening?He felt someone's hands helping him to stand up. When he finally regained his focus, he saw Donna and Kory standing in front of him, worried expressions on their faces.

Donna was the first one to speak up.

„Dick, what the fuck happened?”

He wanted to respond, but... he didn't have the answer. He went through the barrier, opened the front door... and everything went black.

„I- I don't-”

He looked around and felt his heart jump to his throat. The house was completely destroyed. It was like a bomb blew up. Ash and rubble were everywhere, most of it still on fire.

How the hell did they survive this? If they were inside, when it happened...

„Where's Rachel?”

Donna and Kory exchanged a look.

„We don't know.”  
Dick felt panic rising inside him.

„Kory, what the hell do you mean 'you don't know'?”

Donna took a step closer to him.  
„We just got here, Dick. That damn barrier wouldn't let us through. We only found you. As far as we could tell, there was no sign of Rachel, or Gar.”

Dick turned towards the house, – or what was left of it – and ran a hand through his hair. _God, please, let them be okay..._

„Rachel?” he shouted, but there was no reply. „RACHEL! GAR!”

„OUT HERE!”

They saw Gar walking from around the corner, helping Rachel, who was struggling to walk on her own. At the first look they seemed fine. No major injuries.

Dick let out a sigh of relief. _Thank you..._

„Oh my God, Rach...”

„Dick?”

The girl let go of her green haired friend and started to run towards him, but her legs gave in and she would've fallen if Dick didn't catch her mid-way. Once he took her into his arms, the girl let out a loud, painful cry and a series of sobs had shaken her body. Dick brought her closer to him, with one arm tight around her back and the other hand stroking her hair.

„Oh God, Rachel... I was so worried...” He breathed out into her hair. She smelled like smoke and dirt and _blood_ , but other than a nasty cut on her forehead, Dick didn't register any more injuries. Yet she was barely standing on her own, shaking terribly in his arms, The girl only burried her face deeper into his chest, her sobs muffled by his shirt.

„You're okay... you're okay...” she kept mumbling, more to herself than him.

„Hey... hey, look at me.” He took her face in his hands and gently made her look at him. Her face was covered with ash and dirt, except for the clean traces of tears on her cheeks, her eyes all red and puffy.

Dick ran his thumbs across her face, wiping the tears away.

„Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

Rachel took a shaky breath.

„No... I'm- I'm just cold... Why is it so cold here?”

Gar was by their side in a second, covering Rachel with his jacket.

Dick just now realized how deadly pale she was, her lips almost the color of her hair.

While still holding her against him, Dick turned his gaze towards the other boy.

„What the hell happened in there, Gar?”

The boy gave him a confused look.  
  
„You... don't remember anything?”

Dick raised an eyebrow at him.  
„No...?”  
„Well, that explains a lot.”

Now Dick was even more confused.  
„You were possessed, dude. The moment you walked through that door, Trigon got you.”  
„Possessed? Wha- How did he even got here in the first place?”  
Dick felt Rachel shiver against him.

„Something was wrong with me.” Gar explained. „I think I was poisoned or something. I started bleeding and I passed out. Rachel tried to heal me but she couldn't so her mother convinced her to reach out to her father. He healed me.”

„But how did the house blew up?”

This time Kory asked the question.

„He threatened he will kill you – or make you kill yourself – if Rachel doesn't obey him. And Rachel... she kind of...” Gar was struggling to find the right words.  
„...Blew up.”

Dick looked at him wide eyed.

„Blew up?”

„Her powers just went batshit and-”  
„Wait, hold up-” Donna cut him out. „You want to tell us _she_ did that?”

„Yeah... I've never seen her use that much of power before. She lost conciousness for a moment.” He turned his eyes towards Dick. „Whatever she did, it must have broken Trigon's control on you.”

„Where is Trigon now?” Kory asked as she looked around. „And Angela?”

„I don't know.”

Dick looked down at Rachel. She was still shaking but the sobs quieted down. He felt his throat tighten. She didn't deserve any of this shit happening to her. She was just a kid. He squeezed her tighter and looked at the others.

„Ok, let's get out of here before the cops show up. Magic barrier or not, something like this must have already caught attention.”

They turned towards the woods but after few steps Rachel stopped, breathing heavily.

„Dick, I don't think I can...”

She almost fell again but Dick swoop her off her feet and carried her instead.  
„It's okay, I got you.”

The lump showed up in his throat again. She was so small, light as a feather. Strong, yet so fragile at the same time. She wraped her arms around his neck and hid her face in the crook of it, trying to shield herself from the horrors she just witnessed.

 _It's not fair._ He thought. _Her life shouldn't look like this._

 

***

  
The ride was silent. Rachel suspected nobody wanted to talk because either they didn't want to disturb her or they were all simply too tired to talk. She sat in the backseat, in between Gar and Dick, who had his arm wraped protectively around her. She rested her head on his chest and stared at nothing. She tried to focus on the motion of his thumb drawing soothing circles on her arm, but the memories of the last hour kept coming back, no matter how hard she tried to push them away.

It was all a lie.

Her own _mother_ used her to bring a monster to this world.

And she let that happen.

She _made it_ happen.

And she almost lost Gar, and then Dick because of it.

The images before her eyes burned like fire. Gar – choking on his own blood. The love and worry in Dick's eyes, replaced with the ethernal darkness she only ever saw in the mirror, in the matter of seconds after he entered the house.

The sight that made her blood freeze.

Her father's – Trigon's – words still echoed in her mind.

_This was not my doing. It was his._

But how could it be?

_I've released your friend from a terrible burden._

She couldn't forget how cold Trigon's hands felt on her shoulders, so different from Dick's warm and steady ones.

_I love him as you do, because you do._

All lies. If he'd love him, he wouldn't have done this to him. To her.

_You're better of without him, you know? He doesn't care anyway._

She knew the demon was lying, just to manipulate her, but she couldn't help but feel the fear creeping it's way inside her head.

Dick had promised her he would never leave her, that he's always coming back to her. But since Washington she couldn't lose the feeling that someday he _will_ leave her. Now she knew him good enough to know that every time he had his reasons to leave, reasons he wasn't ready to talk about yet. Two days ago, when he left Chicago (to go to Donna as it turned out), she wasn't really angry at him, she just made him think she is. Still couldn't keep the act for long, because this time he actually felt guilty for leaving. Rachel remembered how his arms quickly cricled themselves around her when she ran up to him on the street. She called him an asshole just to mess with him (and guild-trip him a little) and his _You're sure you're gonna be okay?_ sounded a lot like _Say no and I'll stay_.

Dick Grayson cared about her. Trigon was lying.

_Are you sure, Rachel? Darling, I'm in his head – I see things he would never say out loud. I know how he feels._

Lies. Manipulation. Rachel knew better. At least, she was trying to convince herself she does.

_You're nothing more than a burden to him. Why do you think he wanted to ditch you in D.C.?_

All of those words pushed Rachel further to the edge, bit by bit. But then Trigon made Dick take a kitchen knive and put in on his own throat and Rachel snapped.

Next thing she remembered, Gar was pulling her out from under the table, everything was destroyed and she felt like she will pass out any second. Her parents were nowhere to be found.

Rachel closed her eyes shut and burried her face in Dick's shirt. He didn't say anything, just held her a little tighter and took her trembling hand into his big one, offering as much comfort as he could in the moment.

 

***

 

He was _possessed_. That explains a blackout and a memory loss. And the flashes of a strange vision, that felt so _real_ , yet it was nothing but real.

He was married to Dawn.

They had a son, Johnny was his name, after Dick's father. The second baby was on the way.

Rachel and Gar, grown up, safe, happy and _in college_.

A beautiful house in sunny California.

A dream life his heart ached for. But not without everything he was scared of the most.

Gotham hitting the rock bottom. Bruce losing his humanity. Dick surrending to the darkness inside him and _killing_ Bruce.  
That's probably what made him vulnerable to Trigon's control.

He blinked quickly, trying to push the images away and looked down at Rachel. The inside of the car was silent – everyone agreed to let her sleep in peace, there will be time for talking later. But Rachel wasn't sleeping. She just lied in his arms, with her head on his chest, and stared at nothing.  
He desperately wanted to make her feel better, but he felt helpless. This little girl lost everything _again_ , and Dick wanted nothing more than to close her in his arms and shield her from the world with his own body.  
Rachel Roth made her way to his heart in the most unexpected way, but he wouldn't trade it for anything. In that strange dreamworld he told Bruce that finding her led him back to life and that was true. The weight of responsibilty was overwhelming at first, to the point where he thought he couldn't do it. But everytime Rachel smiled, everytime she felt a little bit better, he felt like he won a lottery.  
He recalled what Dawn told him back in Washington.

_It's a big resposibility – taking her in.  
I know how healing it must be._

He denied it back then. But it _was_ healing. And he _did_ took her in, in the end. He didn't want to at first, he was scared to do it – he didn't want to be like Bruce, to put the burden of his darkness and demons on her shoulders. But the girl was more like him than he first thought. And that made him feel better, but also terrified him.

_But taking care of a kid is complicated, you know that better than anyone._

She was right. It was fucking hard. It scared the shit out of him in the beginning. But not anymore. He wanted to be there for Rachel – to protect her, take care of her,  
_love her_ like a parent should.

But could he be a parent? Especially now?  
His head told him he couldn't. Not with his past, with his struggles, his demons. But he knew deep down that Rachel brought his protectiveness to the surface. His parental instinct, you could call it. _  
_ All he knew right now was that this little girl in his arms meant to him more than anything in this world and he will not let anything happen to her.

 

***  
  
They found a motel after about an hour of driving. Dick stepped out of the car and helped Rachel get out. He was afraid for a moment she will fall again, but she only stumbled a little before standing straight on her own. Kory shot Rachel one worried look, probably still unsure of herself after what happened just a few hours ago. She said she will get rooms for them, then turned on her heel and went inside. When she came back with the keys, Dick put one hand on Rachel's back and pointed her towards one of the rooms but before he could say anything, Donna walked up to him and with one stern out-of-the-question look told him to go and get a shower.  
„Don't worry. I got her.”  
Dick did as he was told, and after few minutes he made his way to Rachel's room.

After everything that happened today he wasn't going to let her out of his sight tonight – or ever again, for that matter – even if it meant another sleepless night for him.  
Rachel was currently sitting on her bed with Donna patching up the cut on her forehead. The girl was already clean, no traces of dirt anywhere, changed into the spare clothes Donna found in her car. After she was finished, the woman shared a look with Dick and silently left the room, closing the door behind her.

Rachel hanged her head low, avoiding his gaze, and played with the small, blue ring on her finger. Dick sat down on the bed next to her and took her hands into his.

„How are you feeling?” He asked softly, concern vibrating in his voice.

„How do you think?” She asked back bitterly. There were new tears in her eyes, ready to spill out any moment. „My mother turned out to be a psycho and my father is a literal embodiment of the devil, go figure.”

This outburst scared him a little, but it was understandable. Her whole life turned out to be a one, big lie. She had the right to be angry.

But when Rachel saw his expression, she looked down again, ashamed of her own reaction.

„I'm sorry. It's all my fault.”

„Rachel, no, what are you talking about?”

When she looked back at him, the tears were falling freely down her cheeks. Dick lifted one hand and gently wiped them away. He left his hand there after, stroking her cheek gently and preventing her from averting her gaze from him. The girl closed her eyes for a moment and leaned in to the touch.  
„I brought him back.” she whispered, her quiet voice breaking. „I didn't know what to do. Gar was hurt, and I- and then you were-” She was crying again. „I'm so sorry, Dick.”

He felt his heart break for her all over again. She did absolutely nothing to deserve this kind of torment. Dick lifted his other hand and cuped her face, locking his eyes with hers.  
„Listen to me carefully. None of it was your fault, okay?” His voice was soft, but convincing. He needed her to understand. „You were manipulated. It was their plan all along. You couldn't have known.”  
He paused for a moment to study her face. A little bit of color came back already, but she still looked so tired.  
„I should be the one apologizing to you.”

She raised an eyebrow at him, confused.  
„What? Why?”

„I never should have left you.” He admitted. The guilt flood over him, almost drowning him. „I keep screwing up, I'm sorry. I promise you I won't leave you, and yet it's the first thing I do when I get the chance.” Admitting it hurt like hell. But it was the truth. „If I only knew... I thought I was doing the right thing, you know? You were with your _mom_ , you finally had someone to take care of you. I thought-” His voice started to crack. It was getting harder to speak with the lump in his throat. Rachel was silent, staring at him with her big, blue eyes. „I thought you didn't need me anymore.” He lowered his head and took a deep breath.

„I will always need you.”

When he looked back at her, she was smiling. Her eyes shined with tears, but she had that beautiful smile on her face, the one he loved so much, and he couldn't take it anymore. His own tears fell freely down his cheeks, but he happily returned the smile. He took her hands again.

„Ok, that's it. No more splitting up, never again. I swear. Where I go – you go with me. I am not letting you out of my sight ever again.”

His eager promise made her laugh. It was like the most beautiful music to his ears. She shook her head and looked at him.

„I love you, Dick.”

His breath caught in his throat. He didn't expect this. _I love you_. He wasn't sure he heard that right. The idea of this little girl loving him, _him_ , was something he would never consider. And yet...

Her smile fell at his reaction. She probably thought she made a mistake. So Dick did one thing that could chase away her worries and keep him form falling apart completely. He took her face in his hands again and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, channeling all the love and worry and gratitude through it. Rachel sucked a breath as she closed her eyes at the touch.

With his lips still lingering on her skin, he whispered with a trembling voice.

„I love you too.”

He leaned away and looked her. They were both crying right now. And both of them were smiling like idiots.

„I love you so much, Rachel. So much.”

Next thing he knew, she was in his arms, hugging his neck tightly, her face pressed to his shoulder. He wraped his arms around her in return, pressing her close to his chest. That's were she belonged. With him, right here in his arms. She will always need him. And he will always need her too.

They lied down under the covers, facing each other, and wished each other goodnight. Dick tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and Rachel cuddled herself closer to his chest, her face pressed where his heart was. He put his arms around her once more and left another kiss on her temple. The amount of love and affection he felt for this kid – _his_ kid – felt overwhelming. He remembered his mother always telling him that he was her world. He didn't fully understand the meaning of this statement until he met Rachel. Because now he really felt like he was holding his whole world in his arms. And God, that felt so good. And as he watched her fall asleep, curled up against him and with a faint smile on her face, he decided he wouldn't trade this moment for anything. Maybe he could do this whole parenting thing after all.

 

***

In the morning, when they were getting ready to leave, Dick excused himself for a moment, and when he was sure no one was listening, he took out his phone and picked a numer.

After few moment Alfred picked up.

„Hi, Alfred, it's me.” He spoke to the phone. „I need you to do some research and paperwork for me, okay?”

He turned around to see the group leaving the motel, walking towards the car slowly.

„I want to adopt this kid I told you about. I want to know what I need to do, what papers needs to be filled, all of that.”

Dick looked at his friends. Everyone seemed to be in good moods. Gar was clearly asking Donna too many questions. Kory had her arm around Rachel, the two of them finally comfortable around each other again. They looked at him and Rachel's smile grew even wider.

Alfred's voice brought Dick back from his thoughts.

„Oh, her name?” He smiled. „Rachel Roth.”

 


End file.
